He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
