I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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