You work out of a Hotel?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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