Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize