it's not cheating when I paid for it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize