He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize