I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
