I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
