Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Randomize
