I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
