We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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