i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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