dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
