I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
