fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
