This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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