I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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