Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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