Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
