well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
