I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
