OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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