you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
