My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
