Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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