so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
