I am puke
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
