I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
