i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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