It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
