I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
