If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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