he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Couch. On fire.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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