morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
