take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I wish there were birth control emojis
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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