here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
