Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
