fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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