Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
