I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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