I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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