dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
