I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
