What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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