What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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