Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
