so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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