Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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