I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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