real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
