I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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