guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
