Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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