problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
