fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
