pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
