Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
